Calling Fatty’s bluff on the Arab donor

SATIRE | The experienced yet unemployed Middle Eastern actor was used to hanging outside studios waiting to be called in as an “extra”. Now, there was a big break. He was asked to start growing a beard and to learn speaking English with an Arabic slang.

This was his big break. He was to play a billionaire Saudi prince, who donates billions to his friends. But this was no movie – no directors, no camera, no lights. It was real-life drama acted live!

The suite in the Ritz Paris came with a jacuzzi in the room, a personal butler and other trappings. It was three days before the real thing. As per instructions from Fatty, nothing was left to chance. They play-acted and perfected the two episodes which had to be acted out.

The countdown had started and the adage – practice makes perfect – ensured they were well-prepared with several rehearsals. Finally, a full-dress rehearsal had to be done.

The “prince” donned the thaub, the garment worn by the Arabs, and the shemagh over his head fitted to the T.

On D-Day, the VIP arrived and was ushered to the suite where they hugged and kissed each other’s cheeks. A bottle of champagne was popped. The VIP, who was introduced as “Number 2”, politely, turned down the offer, saying that he observes his religious obligations and opted for Perrier.

It was small talk on the World Cup 2022 and the recalcitrant attitude of Qatari officials and foreign workers. “Number 2” was then an authority of sorts on this issue. His brother headed the family-run business of recruiting and supplying of foreign workers – legally and illegally.

At the prescribed moment, the “prince” interrupted his guest and said: “You came here to sort out the RM2.6 million in “Number One’s” bank account. Consider it done. I will say the money was for your party.”

Game over! “Number Two” walked away with a wide grin, whistling the “Mission Impossible” tune as the embassy car drove him away...